Frazzled

I try to be positive and put positive out there, but I'm so tired right now. Frazzled is about the only way I can describe how I feel.

We've been without a dishwasher for a month now (cracked tub, soon to be resolved). I started back to grad school this semester with a professor that loves writing assignments. Goose is 2, almost 3, and completely acting her age most days. Baby Boy is going through a growth spurt and getting teeth. That means a ton of nursing. I was already struggling to keep up calorie-wise.

I'm frazzled and it shows. It shows in how I look, in how I sound. How I respond to Goose's 2-year-old demands. How I handle Baby Boy not falling asleep and fussing. How I try to keep up with fail miserably at keeping the house clean. I just want to blog and clean and sleep, and I could almost kick myself for thinking I could do school and have 2 little ones at the same time-- that I could do both well. No one is getting everything they need right now and I feel like it's all my fault. I'm constantly grinding my teeth, my jaw is clenched in anticipation of the next mess to clean up, of the next task I feel like I didn't do well. Or forgot to do completely.

And then I look around. My beautiful children. My loving husband. My home. My opportunities. And I feel guilty, incredibly guilty, for complaining about my first world problems and this wonderful life that I have. And I feel weak. People do a lot more with a lot less. Every day.

And that makes me feel even worse.

And all of that just annoys the hell out of me.

----One task at a time. One day at a time. That's the best I can do.